We often come across to many people throughout our lives. We expose ourselves to vulnerabilities, get heartbroken and move on. We expect many stuffs and get disappointments at the end. So, what do we do! We cut all the ties.
There is a reason why all of us do this. There comes a point when everyone struggles to make a living. Some get the opportunity at the right moment, so they grab it.; others struggle with extended difficulties like financial loss, loss of a loved one, abandonment, psychological issues like stress, depression, chronic anxiety or even physical disability, certain medical conditions, etc. Everyone doesn’t get the favorable circumstance. So, no one is to be blamed.
When I was struggling for my career, I wouldn’t talk to most people. It’s a natural instinct. Not because I hated such people because their lives were set, but because I didn’t have an answer of where I was actually heading and absolutely wasn’t in the state of answering people’s constant queries. I was stressed out, was lost in a jugglery of this rat-race known as career where hundreds of candidates would try their luck and either got selected or rejected. The idea of getting selected didn’t seem pleasant either because 12 hours is what it takes to fulfill the company’s contiguous profits, and it is just a handful of what a candidate gets. Back to the topic, the point is most people get so busy chasing their dreams that the life they used to enjoy holds nothing but a mere memory. Below is the list of reasons why people possibly lose all the contacts.
1. Grudges and fights – There could be the case that some of your fellow members were actually toxic and therefore the reasons could be bigger than one could imagine. But sometimes the issues aren’t practical and real, still people carry a whole baggage of grudges. They take nearly everything personally and so opt for distancing themselves.
2. Ego – Some people keep an egotistical attitude a lot. If someone doesn’t text you, it could be because (s) he is occupied with lots of work and they cannot prioritize you out of their busy schedule, unless it is very urgent. People have real struggles about which you have no idea. Contacting them at times during festivals or certain occasions wouldn’t harm any of you. Not contacting at all simply doesn’t imply that they too don’t want this. Text them, or better call them on this weekend and observe the level of joy they just get hearing your voice.
3. Hesitation – Some individuals hesitate because there is already a lot of gap between you two, in terms of communication, life’s circumstances, hanging out, etc. What one needs to do is initiate. It takes a few seconds in doing that. So, go ahead!
4. Change in taste – When you were a teenager and in your early twenties, life was a fairy tale with a picture perfect ending. You realize now that going to clubs and bars isn’t cool anymore. You seek for real deal that makes sense to you. It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault either. We grow towards maturity, which is best for personal growth.
5. People move – People may move anywhere, to a different town or a state or a country, due to several reasons. When they move abroad, chances are they settle there itself and never come back (or return after, say, a decade!). This means that they might visit their hometown occasionally, but cannot go all across the country to meet their friends who obviously reside in varying locations. It doesn’t sound practical either. Some people choose to lose contact forever. It’s their wish, anyways!
6. Hypocrisy – You realize that all of your friends weren’t your real buddies. They would talk to you because you had something that could benefit them. May be because you belong to a rich family, or scored better grades, were fun to be around so that all of you could hang-out together. It’s not anymore! Period.
What I believe is, we do not have any right to judge anybody because they didn’t fulfill our so-called expectations. We think about ourselves most of the times, everyone does that. You may remember that your childhood companion doesn’t reply you back but have you ever noticed your own behavior? Chances are you probably have done the same thing to someone else, and you simply fail to realize that. It is a never-ending cycle. Learn to forgive people. Let it go. Next time, if you coincidentally meet your fellow member(s), do not hide your face. Go and meet them, unless, of course, they are extremely terrible at behavior!