The feeling of jealousy is like a hidden monster to everyone who has it. It is a natural feeling of insecurity that most people experience at times. If you let it go then it is not an issue but if you dwell on it and feed this monster then you are for sure going to ruin your life forever since neither you are going to be happy, nor will you let your friend/relative/partner be in peace; since once the feeling starts dominating everyone suffers. It needs to stop because you are doing no good to yourself as well as others around you. Do you nag people in your surroundings? Have you genuinely praised someone? Do you start criticizing an individual the moment you listen people praising him/her?
There are so many cases around the world where some couples split because of a “third” person’s entry. Most individuals reveal that it was their partner who was being too clingy and spied on them like an obsessed freak, which eventually let them go out of their way. When these people actually started affair with someone else, these so called loyal partners reassured of their mindset that they were always right and somehow “knew” that they would be cheated.
If you take a closer look on these cases you will get to discover that they were the ones who were loyal as well previously. What brought them apart was they never got personal space and their partners would go to any extent in detecting their wherabouts. If they had a conversation with the opposite sex even for a while, in person or via text, their loyalty was questioned. They spent years in making their partners assured about they love them until they got really pissed off of numerous fights they had on daily basis. At this point they felt alone and needed emotional support where they seek out from somewhere else. Did you get the basic idea how a normal jealous outlook simply initiated a havoc? It is just not about justifying who was right or wrong, and it is not always about romantic relationships either.
An elder sibling may get jealous right after his/her younger sister’s/brother’s arrival in the family because naturally the younger one gets more attention that makes the elder one a bit insecure. It is very common for parents hearing “not loving”, “not caring” this poor thing just as much as the other one seeks. In this case, the parents need to make a balance between the two by talking to their child and giving attention to them as well so that they get assured of love. With time the elder gets over with it and loves the younger one with great intensity, shows care and remains dutiful whenever this younger sibling gets into trouble, and it is for lifetime; no matter they themselves get the same in return. And it is not about the measurements because loving someone never asks anything in return. Since the elder sibling witnesses every single moments of joy, cry, laughter, and most importantly their siblings’ very “first walk”, they are never the ones who use or manipulate the other one for their own advantages.
But the situation is never the same in every case. It is possible that one of them remains insecure and lets negative thoughts prevail, resulting in self-destruction or exploitation of the other one because of some false made-up scenarios that have little to no relation with the reality. We always hear in news about a person killing his own brother or sister due to some “unresolved” quarrels dwelling for years. Some people literally verbally or physically harm others because they feel too vulnerable with a slightest criticism they get with their fellow members even if that critique is too honest.
Feeling jealous is natural and one cannot control it. The real issue begins when this mere feeling lets a person to act upon through any means, and that “means” includes anything like verbal abuse, physical torture, indirect insults or any other thing that assures them that they are doing perfectly right for the sake of maintaining their false supremacy, the mask they carry wherever they go.
If you are one of them you definitely need help. Following steps will help you get-well-soon:
1. Analyze – You need to first analyse where your problem lies exactly. If you find out that you need a constant assurance from everyone, even if you don’t get that frequently (making you insecure at the first place) and even a slight news of someone getting married, pregnant, promoted intimidates you, you need to speak to yourself whether that feeling is worth it. People usually post on Facebook or Instagram about “good” stuffs because most of them are obsessed about showing their “cool” lifestyle to nearly everyone. If you are getting jealous you are actually making their mission successful. Simply think in that way. No one belongs to Gate’s, Mittal’s or Ambani’s level of richness. Earning salary of five or six figures is simply spent on a number of loans every month so people aren’t leading that extent of awesomeness that you might be thinking.
Engagements, marriages and babies are part of everyone’s life. If you haven’t found that special someone yet, do not wait. Just focus on something progressive such as your career graph that how it is supposed to be and what efforts need to be done. Thoughts must not be something like “I am going to get promotion and then flaunt my success to everybody”. It must be like “I am going to improve my previous self every now and then since nobody is perfect, so am I”. The word “improvement” simply doesn’t imply to your image you have made in office. It also involves your social skills and the way you act with your closed ones. If people find you somewhat rude, despite of being successful person, you won’t be liked anyway.
2. Let it go – Getting overwhelmed with strong feelings sometimes rules the mind so much that people often come up with made up stories whose narrator is none other than, but themselves. Here is the moment when you need to take a deep breath and say to yourself that everyone’s life’s journey is different. People choose their own path and get rewards accordingly. This does not imply that whatever they have right now will be with them forever. It’s just a few moments that they tend to enjoy and share with the rest of the world, and there is nothing wrong in that. Stop expecting or praying for their torments since that kind of feeling is never going to fill your own life with colors. If you think certain people “deserve” pathetic life then you need to seriously change your mindset. You might have done something good to them and they might have betrayed you in return but that doesn’t mean you pull all your focus on them. Have you ever wondered why some people actually kill somebody because of jealousy they had since so many years? This is what a mind can do to anyone. Never let your mind and emotions control you to the extent that you start hurting others in some way. You were the good one, so be that individual throughout your life’s journey.
3. Indulge in activities – It is always best to indulge in activities like gym membership, music/art/ dance classes, sports classes, karate/kung-fu classes, etc. This keeps the mind fresh and recharged. This will further redirect your mind to positive thoughts. And who knows in these classes you get friend or love of your life, having similar thinking, life’s goals exactly you chase, The One you always dreamt of!
Always remember that flaunting supremacy and putting others down is too mainstream and being genuinely humble and grounded is what makes an individual truly unique. So, be the one who doesn’t need people’s approval of self-assessment and you will be respected always by those who like your true self; for others you don’t need that anyway!