A mother is born before her child is born. No matter she is 20 or 50, a new mother starts changing her preferences once she is carrying her baby. Then the process of being there beside a child unconditionally begins and continues until her last breath.
I have seen many memes about mothers, multitasking mothers, sleepless mothers, homeschooling mother, and many more. I am a mother for 10 years and I have seen my mother, mother-in-law, and many closely, one thing common in all of us is, everything around us changes except some motherhood matters.
Motherhood carries some kind of stress all the time. Throughout every period we anticipate that things get better and soon we will get some me time. But no. It happens only if we put hard effort to get some time for ourselves.
Mothers are happy serving their children and always will be that is why many women go through anxiety when their children move to college or work or after marriage. But, knowingly or unknowingly they are draining themselves mentally and physically.
I have a question, not to mothers, it is to the children who are old enough to understand what I mean. Do you still take your mother for granted?
Emotional Journey Of A Mother
From the time a woman becomes a mother she goes through an amalgamation of emotions. Excitement, fear, exhaustion, joy, sorrow, and many, and all these come without a warning. Prenatal and postpartum depression is just the start of the journey to motherhood. The extreme joy that comes with being a mom is accompanied by extreme stress also. With the little ‘bundle of joy’ comes a lot of advice from other mothers and fathers but what works for your child you will sense slowly.
Earlier days people used to say that if one has to pick a little pin for his/her mother its a confusing task. Like that for mothers every time they pick something for their children she will be confused, regretful, guilty, and more even though she picked the best for her child.
When the kids are small, new mothers think that everything will be alright when kids grow up but parenting becomes tougher even when the children are old.
School going children will have a bunch of their own issues and break downs, boredom, and demands. All the time a mother makes sure that the kids are alright. She teaches them school subjects, extracurricular activities, she plays with them indoor and outdoor, she becomes a chef to make sure they eat and every time they are bored she needs to be innovative to make a new idea that’s working.
The tween and teen years of children shake the head so hard because it is the period of testing. Children are mostly argumentative and defiant. The words they say mostly will hurt a mother. they behave like they hate their parents especially mothers as others closely involve in their daily life. The once their encyclopedia will be now considered as dump that is the attitude children would carry on in these stages. Parents will mostly be between 35-45 these times. During this time they will go through difficulty in the relationship with the partner as the hormones are changing. The premenstrual syndrome will increase by aging and some will be going through the pre menu pausal stage. This is a hard time for women, this is the time they need real support but what happens is the opposite.
Women ignore these hormonal changes and bodily needs and fulfill their family members’ demands on time. These kinds of procrastination burden the future years. Physically and mentally it deteriorates a mother. Only a few are lucky to get understanding people around. Most of the children, husbands, and other family members take mothers for granted without knowing what is going on in her mind and body.
Post the teen years when children become young women and gentlemen, in this stage children want to fly away suddenly, they will look for chances to live away from parents. Actually, this is a deciding stage, some kids may not be able to move easily they might have lived their entire life depending on mothers. Even for a glass of water they cant lift their ass. Whether such children are a blessing or not is a question that depends on the mother. Some mothers appreciate me time some may never want time for themselves.
Children become adults they get jobs away from home, get married, have children, homes, and the whole world for themselves. Some of them still stay close to their parents some of them care for their aging parents and some of them use mothers as servants, ayas, cooks, and more. They don’t even care if their mothers are physically drained, sleepless, or stressed. They want to fulfill their own needs. Some mothers die early unable to bear all the mental and physical strain. We name their conditions paralysis, Alzheimer’s, brain stroke, heart attack. etc!
Along with this, I should say that there are happy mothers who stood for themselves from the beginning itself. Along with growing independent as well as lovable children she nurtured herself too.
How Important Is Me-Time For mothers?
Be a little selfish have some me-time
Working mother or not, feeling guilty is common that runs through your mind when it comes to parenting. It’s easy to be an over-concerned mother and obsess over things, but you need to relax, sit back and take a breath. Motherhood is a learning process and you’ll ultimately figure out how you can make the day better for your little ones, instead of just focusing on your errors.
Relax to retreat
The world around you won’t stop running if you take out time for yourself once a while. Personal time can put things in perspective and help you recognize all the good things you have going on in your life. For example, have some time for your passion, spend some time with your partner alone, or simply stretch your legs on the couch doing nothing. Leave the kids behind with someone you trust.
A Happy Mom is more Productive too!
Taking a break from the routine of life can offer more than repose. Mommies who are in harmony with themselves are more productive and are less likely to irritation and mood swings. Never compromise on your happiness!
Studies are proving the importance of me-time in proving more happiness in a mother’s life. And this is exactly what mothers want on this mother’s day.
What are mothers doing during this Coronavirus season?
Many mothers around the world are having a serious shift in their lives, they lost their routines since the lockdown due to coronavirus outbreak.
The working moms are doing work-at-home tasks and child care with an emphasis that has never before existed. They are home-schooling while working, managing online classes. They’re preparing meals while working. They’re watching screen time while working and also dealing with the ripples of guilt, anxiety, or withdrawal that come with not doing any of those things especially great.
Tasks that had been outsourced to schools, housemaids, nannies, etc are now falling considerably on parents and disproportionately on mothers. It is surreal for some of the women, who often perceived themselves feeling that their busy jobs kept them away from their children. Now, they are having more time than ever with their kids but this may not be what they had in thought. Women support the planning, organizing, and the remembering of everything that needs to be remembered. The mental load that comes with that work has increased in recent weeks.
No matter what happens in the world, mothers are loaded with tasks directly or indirectly. Take care of your mother, understand her, appreciate her, help her, ask her if she is alright, be gentle to her and never take her for granted, know that she is a gift that cannot be replaced!
Ayoti wants every mother to be happy. Having an income for you will make you feel better and you will feel more valued. This is a chance for you to get some me time I guarantee, try at least once!