My Life My Decisions!

There is a very famous quotation that says “Being a woman is not that easy. You have to look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man and work like a horse. If the lovely ladies out there read this, most of them will agree to me since they experience everything, especially after starting a new family.

How much you value your life? How much your husband and kids value you? Are you a housewife or a working women? If you are a working women, it’s cool as you are supporting your husband additionally in earning bucks. But if you’re a housewife, how many of you are told doing nothing at home? I know it is not true but when will they start appreciating you? How about giving yourself a time frame in which you are with no one but yourself? Life is beyond just cooking, cleaning and taking care of children. Some women are so psychologically exhausted that they no more enjoy looking beautiful. They don’t buy new clothes, do home facials and hair care. If they aren’t interested in beautifying themselves how come will they be initiating anything? Be it grooming your existing hobbies, or beginning the job you last left.

my life my decisions

“I used to work in a bank for 5 years but later my husband got transferred into a new place. My bank gave me opportunity to transfer me as well. But things weren’t favoring me. My mother-in-law got seriously ill and was on permanent bed rest. We couldn’t afford 12 hours maid for her. I had to quit. Now those colleagues with whom I worked are on senior positions. Even if I think about joining the office again, my thoughts won’t allow me to be their subordinate!”

This is how a woman’s life goes. They get educated from prime institutions, start a career, and there comes a point where everything fades away to fulfill the family demands. Even if they get a chance to start all over again, either their husbands don’t allow them or they simply shy away later from facing the corporate world. In later years, most couples settle financially. The husband earns plenty of bucks and doesn’t want his wife to work. He denies it because if his wife starts over, she has to work really hard for several hours and in return not going to get much amount of pay. So, why to go at workplace, work at home as well, and get exhausted at the end? There is no denial that only women take responsibility of looking after everything.

How about being an entrepreneur or a freelancer? Freelancing saves the traveling time as well. Now the term ‘entrepreneur’ depicts the image of a person wearing formal suit, dealing with international clients and all, but this is not the case always. A housewife who prepares pickles at home and sells them in the market is also termed as an entrepreneur. Working as a freelancer is very suitable for housewives. They can manage the time most suited to them and start working. You see, earning is that easy!

Everything needs time management. Those women who do contribute something good do that well and get encouragement in their families too. If an idea flashes your mind and you discuss that with your husband and/or other family members they may or may not support that at first but you have to convince them to allow you initially for a particular time period. If you show them success they will start believing you.

“I was raised as every girl in every Indian household is raised. I completed my graduation and post graduation. I was a C.A. and C.S. final dropout. I also started coaching classes and used to teach subjects like Human Resource, marketing, economics, Organizational Behavior, etc. I was also appointed as a guest faculty in various colleges and worked as a counselor in an educational institution. I was also appointed as entrepreneurial trainer and event coordinator. Once I visited a cafeteria where I saw some wall arts and thought I could do better. I showed my wall art designs that I drew in my own house to the owner of that cafeteria and he liked them. Since then, I started my work as a professional wall artist. I also painted stuffs like coffee mugs, envelopes, bags, T-Shirts, kurtis, etc. My parents were worried about my marriage as I was growing but I started grooming my childhood hobby, which was of course, art! And I didn’t want to give up. I somehow convinced my parents to start the wall art business, and it is going really good!”, as stated by Mamta Singh (Wall Artist), Udaipur (Rajasthan), India.

When we talk about taking decisions that doesn’t cover just earning money. Women must be involved in every decision taken by, for example, her husband like when are they planning for having kids, or what amount of money will they be going to invest in assets or liabilities. In some cases, women are not that much educated to understand such stuffs and so only their husband decide what to do. If a woman knows how to read and write she can seek additional knowledge by herself via none other than Internet that contains everything one wants.

If a woman is unmarried she must not be pressurized for marriage. The legal age is above 18 years but that does not mean that she is currently mentally prepared for that. If a girl turns 18, she has the constitutional right to decide when and with whom to marry. Her parents role is to not put burden on her head as some kind of mandatory task that she needs to accomplish. The girl herself must also convince her parents to understand her life preferences, her choices, her decisions. This is how it goes. Changes in the society as a whole will take time but the initiation is to be done by someone.

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4 Responses

  1. Ragini Lohar says:

    really commendable article…as a girl I also face this type of cases….. and would also like to write articles on RIGHTS TO WOMEN or WOMEN POWER….there is nothing that a girl can’t do…
    I am proud that I am a girl..and I hope that every girl should be PROUD OF BEING A GIRL…….

  2. GinaGercenutisy says:

    Hi I’m Gina.
    I’m mother of two wonderful 10 years sons. Their father has left us 8 years ago.
    I have a question, maybe some of you can help me?
    At what age should a parent teach their son about ‘sex education’ if there is no father around or would it be better for the child to have a male family member to do this?
    It really bothers me because i’ve found adult magazine in Their room.

    Will be happy to hear any advice.

    • ayoti says:

      Hi,
      It seems that your sons need to be educated on this subject as they seem to grow faster, and it will not be a good idea to take information from elsewhere due to unauthenticated contents they might discover and would likely make false assumptions. We would advice you to talk to them. Although it would be a difficult approach to initiate the subject due to the fact that you are their mother and they won’t be feeling comfortable. You can take suggestions from other parents as well. There are also some good books to read and videos to watch that are specifically designed for this. As you are their parent you can judge which ones are useful. You can also take help from any other male candidate in your family who you can completely trust, if you are not comfortable.

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