How to Raise Kids as a Single Mother?
Being a single parent to one or more children is really very difficult task since the roles and responsibilities are even more. If a woman is raising her kids as a single mother than she has to handle every minute task including the finances. Being single mom is not just due to separation with your partner and it is not necessary that your ex-husband is sending you money on monthly basis. There could be the case of you being a widow and get really low pay of his pension and even if you work in addition you might not be getting enough pay. And there comes the responsibility of child or children where you get really confused how to deal with them and always try hard to do a successful parenting, but all in vein.
The reason why raising a kid or a teenager is challenging is because every child is different. The parent needs to understand their behavior and deal with them accordingly. Some children are too active, some are extremely shy, some are sensitive, some of them don’t care at all. Some kids like participating in various activities like drawing, painting, music, sports, etc. and some simply enjoy being alone. At times women get frustrated by simply looking at messed up home, stubborn and crying kids, so, they yell at them expecting them to understand their situation which isn’t possible practically. These are children and not adults and sharing your point of view with them won’t work.
Set a routine to accomplish daily tasks like school-time, snack time, bedtime, etc. so that they expect what comes next after what. They may demand buying cakes, chocolates, ice creams quite frequently but make a schedule of having such stuffs after specific time frame, like once in a week, or a month according to which your expenses allow you doing so, or as per health issues else it will cause obesity to them and you, of course! Fulfilling their every demand isn’t good. With that you will spoil them. Give them tasks at times like cleaning the television with dry cloth, filling the water bottles and keep them in the refrigerator, cleaning the floor if they spill the milk, etc. This will create a sense of responsibility in them, and that their moms are not the default ones to do that for them.
Some children are born competitive and are very keen in participating in extra curriculum activities. Always encourage them doing their best but don’t pressurize them getting so and such positions. Tell them failure is not the end and it is always the beginning of starting over fresh with no mistakes committed previously. Teach them to stay positive always, whatever the circumstances arise, both personal and miscellaneous. Do not compare them with other children and never let them comparing themselves with others. Tell them that the competition is always with themselves and if they achieve something, next time is the time when they will grow even better.
Talk to them and ask them how their day at school was. Talking is necessary else they won’t share anything with you later. Always know the type of friends they make. Read bedtime stories for them before they sleep and prefer inspirational stories. Don’t yell at them all the time. Take them at parks and let them play, and if possible, play with them too. Today’s children are much into smartphones and start playing video games. Set a time limit for that and never allow them sit all day with smartphones or computers. It is also necessary to be social, else they will lack confidence while practically interacting with people and shy away. Train them how to greet while meeting people and tell them to always make a habit of saying ‘Thank You’ and ‘Sorry’ whenever and wherever necessary.
If your child is too young, say 5 to 10 years, you must not share too much things with him or her since they won’t understand your overwhelming behavior. If you feel really psychologically messed up talk to your closed friend, sister, mother or any other relative, or a professional counselor. They are able to give you mature suggestions.
Last but not the least, there is no such term known as “Perfect Parenting”. So, even if you try your best there might and will be a few mistakes and that’s perfectly OK. You will come to know your child’s behavior with time and that will help you improve with time.